Soul Mates ... Fact or Fiction?

Although most of my writing is about motivation, success, and relationships, I am also very interested in spirituality. And brace yourself for this one: my Mom is an ex-Nun. Yes, you heard that correctly! She was a Catholic Nun for five years before she met my Dad (and no, he wasn’t a priest!). The reason I tell you this is because I witnessed my Mom’s spiritual journey growing up. And what a journey it was. She was truly on a spiritual quest, and it was fascinating. So much so that I even wrote my doctoral dissertation about it, which resulted in my first book We’re Not That Different: Two Sisters’ Religious & Spiritual Journeys.

​Because my mom exposed me to all different kinds of spiritual beliefs, I did a lot of reading on the topic. One of the most fascinating things that I love to read about is soul mates and spiritual connections between lovers. The first book I read on the subject was You Were Born Again to be Together, by Dick Sutphen. Dick has since become a good friend of mine (long story), but his books on the topic of soulmates are all fascinating, and I highly recommend them. In fact, in 2013, we wrote a book together called Radical Relationship Resource: A Guide for Repairing, Letting Go, or Moving On.

​Our culture bombards us with messages about romantic love. And the term “soul mate” is thrown around a lot. But what really is a soul mate? Is it just a human term we have invented to describe love – or even lust? Or is it something deeper? On a spiritual level, do we truly have one soul who we “belong” with in this life? So many people are trying to answer this question. In fact, I know a lot of people who even consult with love psychics at Kasamba to figure it out.

​From my reading, here is what I have learned about soul mates. A lot of people say that a soul mate is really just a “soul friend,” and it is not necessarily a romantic connection. Many books talk about soul groups, and that we all sort of come around together time and time again. Therefore, these soul friends can be called “soul mates.” This is not to say that we don’t have romantic connections with our soul mates – that’s definitely one dynamic that can play out. But soul mates can also appear in your life as parents, siblings, friends, children, co-workers – pretty much any role in your life. But the bottom line is that they are special to you - and you “recognize” them on a soul level.

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Many times, soul mates have karma to work out with one another. Therefore, it isn’t always a perfect relationship. The two people have come into this life to work on issues and to grow spiritually. And they have agreed to help each other in this life, which is usually decided upon before they are born.

​Then we have the term “twin flame.” From what I know about the twin flame concept, it seems more like what most people think of when they think of a soul mate. Many books describe a twin flame as literally the other half of your soul. Maybe that’s where the term “my better half” comes from! But either way, a twin flame is mirror for you. It literally “is” you. Some information suggests that only highly evolved souls can actually find their twin flames and have a happy relationship with them on earth. But, others say that there are phases of twin flame relationships. These people talk about “runners” and “chasers.” In other words, sometimes one half of the twin runs from the connection because it’s just too powerful and intense for them. And when that happens, the other one chases them. This obviously leads to a unique dynamic. 

I don’t have all the answers. In my experience, I think that soul mates are soul friends. And I have been lucky enough to find many of my soul friends. However, I am still struggling with the concept of a twin flame. Do I really believe that our souls are split in half and that we are looking for the one to complete us? I’m not sure. I would like to think so, because that really plays into all of our romantic fantasies. But if it’s true, I think most of us are still waiting for it to happen (unfortunately).
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Well, there you have it. That’s the general idea of what I know about soul mates. What do you think? Now that you know a little bit more about the concept, do you think soul mates are fact … or fiction?