Everything happens for a reason. Right? Well, that’s the motto I live by. It may or may not be true for you, but it works for me. It helps me put things into perspective and see everything in life as a learning opportunity.

As some of you already know, I went on a Mediterranean cruise with my family a week ago. It was me, my boys, my mom, my sister and her family, my nephew, and my brother-in-law’s brother (that’s 10 people just in case you want a head count!). I have always wanted to take a trip like this, so I can’t tell you how excited I was – especially about showing my kids a part of the world most people never get to see!

We flew from Detroit to Toronto. And then Toronto to Barcelona, Spain. We’re waiting at the baggage claim. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 bags arrive. Then the conveyor belts stops. Uh-oh. Not good!! Anyone who has lost their luggage can relate to the “pit in your stomach” feeling that you get when you realize your bag didn’t arrive. Yep. It was mine. Everyone got their bag but ME.

So I marched over to the lost baggage office and filed a report. They said it would arrive two days later at our first port. Nope. Then the next port. Nope. Then the next. Nope. Then I just called and told them to send it back to Detroit. They assured me it would arrive the day we got back. Nope. And do I have it yet … almost a week later? Nope.  They have no idea where it is. Huh. Interesting. Not sure how that happens in this day and age when everything is electronically tracked. But it happened!

The reason I’m telling you all of this is because I had two choices: (1) Let it ruin my trip, or (2) Laugh about it. I chose #2. How did I laugh about it? I just did. I cracked jokes. So did my sister and family. It was simply a decision. It could be either tragic or funny. It was better for me to choose funny.

I think the reason this happened is so that I can “practice what I preach.” I frequently teach and write about changing your thinking and attitudes. Well, now I was being put to the test.

I still had an amazing vacation. Do you know why? Because there are A LOT worse things that can happen. Sure, I’m not happy that I packed all my favorite clothes in that bag (lesson learned – don’t do THAT again!). But at least we are all happy and healthy and have great memories. Yes, even the “lost luggage” memories are good. Because in retrospect, it makes for a better story that way. Right? :)

On the even brighter side, I also came up with a lot more to write about in my blog because of this experience (not that I am ever at a loss for something to say!). So keep your eye out for more “Lessons Learned from Lost Luggage.”

Love & Light to all!

~Carol

P.S. To anyone reading this – don’t fly Air Canada!! Well, unless you want YOUR luggage lost too so you can practice laughing in the face of unfortunate mishaps. HA! :)

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When Cate and Lance started dating, Cate had an idea in her head about how it would go. It’s pretty typical: (1) Great first date, (2) Great subsequent dates, (3) Feeling that there was a complete and total “connection” (4) Tons of laughs, (5) Affirmation from Lance that he felt the same way. Then something changed … (but not really) …

Let me first say that Lance really did feel strongly for Cate. HOWEVER, he violated Cate’s EXPECTATIONS of how he should behave early on in a dating relationship. You see, Lance is a very independent person who likes his space. He likes doing his own thing. But that didn’t mean that he didn’t want a relationship with Cate. He did. Actually, he absolutely adored Cate – probably more than any other girl he had ever dated. But his actions sometimes didn’t make Cate feel that way. She wanted him to want to spend all of his free time with her.

A typical scenario for them went something like this:

Cate: “Do you want to hang out this weekend?”

Lance: “Sure.”

Cate: “Cool! When? What time? What do you want to do?”

Lance: “I’m not sure yet. I have a big project that is due next week, and so I need to see how much I can get done on that.”

Cate: “Ummm. Okay.” (Thinking…why doesn’t he want to spend time with me?)

Cate took this typical scenario as a sign that he “just wasn’t that into her.” But that wasn’t true. What was true, however, was that Lance was just a busy person. And he sometimes likes his alone time. And he also likes time to spend with his friends. But does this mean that he didn’t care very deeply for Cate? No. But that’s not how Cate felt.

You see, Cate’s EXPECTATIONS of Lance’s behavior were making her feel unloved. Lance was not trying to make her feel unloved. Lance was simply being himself. Cate wanted him to behave in a manner that was in conflict with his true self. Her EXPECTATIONS were causing her suffering.

So did Cate and Lance make it? No. But they parted ways on good terms. They finally realized that Cate’s expectations of spending a lot of time together did not match up with Lance’s needs for his space. Neither person is wrong - it’s just the way it is.

Sure, some expectations are reasonable – like expecting to be treated with respect and human dignity. But other expectations are not reasonable. The lesson here is that people do not always behave the way we want them to. In fact, it’s very rare that they do. So what should you do? Scream? Shout? Fight? Pout? Cry? You could. But what good does that do? Very little. Really, if you want to be happy, all you can do is adjust your expectations. Or go find someone else that you’re more compatible with. :) 

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Do you feel like this little girl? If not, you should! She is ALIVE!!! She's IN THE MOMENT. She is IN LOVE WITH LIFE!!!! I can't tell you how much I LOVE this photo. It's how we should all feel.

But let me tell you about “Ryan.” He is an intelligent man. He had all the ingredients to be a success in life. Smart. Good-looking. Great personality. However, somewhere during his early 20s, he got lost. He never finished college, got married/had children very young, and ended up “settling” for a factory job. He considers himself a “failure.” He had big dreams for his life, but they never happened. Not only did he not accomplish his dreams, he struggles every day with depression because of it all. I can’t tell you how many times the word FAILURE comes out of his mouth when he describes himself.

Does this story sound familiar? I know a lot of people whose dreams didn’t come true. Or maybe not even their dreams, maybe just their general life goals. I can’t tell you how often I hear these kind of statements:

 “I still don’t know what I want to do with my life.”
 “I’m broke!”  
“I have no passion for life.”
“I’m just going through the motions.”

I could go on, but then this blog entry would turn into a book!

But you get my point.

What I want to talk to you about is ALIVENESS. So, what is aliveness? It’s the blood-pumping, joy, exhilaration, and real enjoyment that makes life worth living!! Does Ryan’s story or the above statements indicate that these people have any aliveness? Of course not! And sometimes they don’t even recognize it. The people like Ryan are sometimes so used to “going through the motions” that they don’t even know that it can be better. I know I’m making it sound too easy. But I have seen people do it. For example, I have a friend, Jenna, who went from depression to happiness simply by waking up one day and DECIDING TO BE HAPPY. She found - or resurrected - her passions. She simply DECIDED to LIVE. Not simply to EXIST.

There are things you can do to bring some aliveness to your life, even if you are like Ryan and feel lost with no hope. It all starts with a DECISION to change. So if you want to feel like this little girl does, contact me for more guidance on how to make that happen. :)

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