We’ve all been there. The times when you feel like your significant other has lost their marbles. But when you’re in the midst of it, you feel alone. But you are not. Here are some tips for how to communicate with your partner when you’re convinced they are a crazy person:
- Scenario #1: They're wrong (but won’t admit it) and you're right.
Before you go jumping to conclusions that your partner is, in fact, wrong…do a reality check. Is he/she really wrong? And are you 100% sure that you are really right? Many times, there is not an objective right or wrong. Instead, reality is subjective. What you think of as the truth may not be the truth. But what he/she thinks of as the truth might also not be the truth. Why? Because many times there is no ONE truth.
The best thing to do in this scenario is to subscribe to this life philosophy: perception is reality. And while you might disagree with your parnter’s outlook on the world sometimes, it doesn’t necessarily make him/her wrong. And it doesn’t make you wrong either. Love your significant other enough to agree to disagree. You are not the same person, so allow yourselves to be on different pages sometimes.
- Scenario #2: What they're saying or expressing doesn't make sense.
This one stems directly from the first scenario - they go hand-in-hand. If you think they’re wrong, then of course they don’t make sense! If they made sense, then you wouldn’t be disagreeing, right?
What you should do here is to sit down and try to do two things: (1) good communication skills, and (2) empathy.
our partner probably thinks they are making sense. So ask them probing questions like, “can you explain this more to me so I can understand you better?” Ask them to clarify. They might not think they need to, but you need to encourage them to do so. When someone sends a message, they automatically think it’s clear and that the other person should obviously understand them. But nope. Doesn’t always happen!
Empathy is also crucial. It’s actually trying to see the other person’s point of view – even if you don’t agree with them. If perception is reality, then their perception is their reality. So seek understanding. Tell them you are trying to see the situation through their eyes. That will do wonders from the relationship.
- Scenario #3: They're being overly emotional or unreasonable.
This is pretty common. It’s natural to think our partner is crazy when they’re overly emotional – and unreasonable! But when you are fighting with them, you naturally disagree. That’s why you’re fighting, right?
If emotions are running too high, take a break. Go to a different room, or take a drive. Both of you need to cool off. There is something that literally happens in a human’s brain when their emotions are running high. The logical part of the brain turns off, for all intents and purposes. And you can’t solve problems when this happens! Both people need to be calm, logical, and rational. Once they (or both of you) return to normal, then you can resume talking and trying to come up with reasonable mutual solutions.
Bottom line: None of us are immune to feeling like our partner is crazy – at least some times. But just because we feel that way, it doesn’t make it true. We all get emotional and unreasonable at times. It’s just part of life! And it’s inevitable in relationships too. But if you practice these tips, you’ll find that eventually, your partner will seem a lot more sane!