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9/6/2013 5 Comments

"Oh to be 80 again ..."

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My stepmom visited me this week. She’s a psychologist, so we always end up talking about all kinds of fascinating things. And since she’s a self-professed photography addict, we also looked at a lot of digital family photos through the years. It was fun.

For some reason, it seemed as if most of the pictures we looked at were from about 10 years ago. And much to my dismay, I found myself fighting the urge to think, “Wow, I looked a lot younger. Wow, I was a lot skinnier.” Lots of things have changed in 10 years. My Dad is not with us anymore. And I am no longer married to the father of my children. And all the kids in our family are growing up so fast. My nieces and nephew are practically adults.

So that got me to thinking about aging. Aging is weird. For anyone who is middle-aged or older, you know what I mean. For you 20 and 30-somethings … just wait! You’ll see. Your time will come. That is, if you’re lucky!!

As I sat there practically mourning my former skinnier, younger self, we got into a conversation about aging. I was wondering if people ever formally grieve the loss of their younger, former selves. I know that no one really wants wrinkles, gray hair, or a few extra pounds, but does anyone ever formally grieve the loss of their younger selves - much like we would the death of a loved one? It’s an interesting question. It might help to grieve because then you will come to terms with your aging better. But then again, it’s probably a whole lot better to appreciate your current age because you are much wiser now (hopefully!). Your life experiences have made you into the person you are today.

But one thing in particular that she said just struck me in the heart. It was something that her mother said at her 90th birthday party:

“Oh, to be 80 again…”

You see, it’s all relative. Most of you reading this are probably not looking forward to being 80 because you associate being that age with being old and slower - both mentally and physically. But from the perspective of a 90 year old, being 80 was like being a spring chicken.

Think about this: You are now the youngest you will ever be again. Weird thought, huh? Some people might even find it depressing. But not if you reframe it. Someday, you might look back and wish you had appreciated your 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, or even 90 year-old body and mind.

And now think about this: Now is the perfect time to do that. Appreciate the body and mind you have today.

I will leave you with this. It is a quote that hangs in my stepmom’s house, and I’ve also posted it on Facebook. But it is a perfect ending to this blog entry:

Don’t ever regret growing old. It’s a privilege denied to many.

***Friend Request me on Facebook!***      https://www.facebook.com/carol.morgan.391

5 Comments
Jessica Lawson
9/7/2013 08:20:51 am

I love that quote, "Don't ever regret growing old. It's a privilege denied to many!"

Oh so true! :)

Reply
Carol Morgan
9/7/2013 10:24:57 am

Yes it is! Thanks for reading!! :)

Reply
Jane Brown
12/13/2013 06:54:12 am

Are you also a child of divorced parents? What helped you most while it was happening and dealing with it afterwards?

Reply
Carol Morgan
12/15/2013 12:44:10 am

Hi Jane!

Thanks for reading :) Yes, I am a child of divorced parents - they separated when I was 13. I could write a book about how we all handled it, but the biggest piece of the equation for me was how my mom explained it to me. She framed it very positively, "Both your dad and I will be happier, and we'll all be happier!" So I bought into it and believed her. The other big thing was how they handled the divorce. They put me and my sisters first, before themselves. They were mature and still treated each other with kindness and respect. And about 7 years after my dad got remarried, we all started celebrating Christmas together (me, my sisters, my mom, dad and stepmom). And even now that my dad has passed away, my stepomom still celebrates Christmas with me, my sisters, and my mom. The key to a "good divorce" is in how maturely people handle it. Everyone needs to put their own ego aside and be mature about the situation. I was a "lucky" child of divorce. Unfortunately, most kids aren't as lucky as I was. I hope this helped! If you have any more questions, please don't hesitiate to contact me! And thanks again for your comment!

~Carol :)

Reply
Jane Brown
12/16/2013 09:45:57 pm

Thank you!!!

Reply



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