Blindsided! How to Get Over Being Dumped

You were happy. You thought everything was going great. You were in love. Then… BAM!!! A bomb is dropped on you, and you get dumped. How did this happen? How do you go on?

As an online dating coach in Dayton, I know all too well that being dumped is never an easy thing to deal with. Trust me – I see it all the time. It can seriously damage someone’s self-esteem, even if it’s just temporary.

All sorts of things go through your mind like, “What’s wrong with me?” and “Did I say/do something wrong?” and “How did I not see this coming?”

It’s easy to beat yourself up over it. Most people personalize it and think it’s all about them. I mean, that’s the natural thing to do, right? You think it’s about you since they broke up with YOU.

But not so fast. It might not even be about YOU! You could have done everything right, and they still would have broken up with you. So, don’t take it so hard.

Let’s take a look at somethings you can do if you want to know how to get over being dumped.

1.      Cry. Grieve.

Being dumped is like a death. It’s a serious ending to something that you thought was happy. And if it happens suddenly without warning, it’s even worse. So, you have to grieve the loss. Not only the loss of the person, but the loss of the relationship and the dreams you had of the two of you in the future.

2.      Dissect the relationship.

Try to figure out what went wrong. Did you do or say something to contribute to the breakup? Did your ex send you warning signs of the impending breakup and you ignored them? If you did something wrong, use it as a learning experience for your next relationship. If you didn’t, well, then you just have accept that the two of you are not a good match.

3.      Write down all your good qualities.

When we get dumped, we don’t feel very good about ourselves. I mean, if we were good enough, then they wouldn’t have broken up with us, right? That’s absolutely not true. Perhaps the person was just emotionally unavailable or a chronic cheater. But you DO have good qualities. Write them down and remind yourself of how awesome you are.

4.      Go out with friends.

After you grieve for a while, get out there! Go have some fun! Grab a few of your friends and go to the bars. Go skydiving. Go on vacation. Go anywhere that will get your mind off the breakup. The key here is to distract yourself and also to have fun while doing it. Just because your relationship ended, that doesn’t mean that your life has ended. Focus on the good things and keep yourself busy.

5.      Don’t hold on to hope.

I know you might still be pining away for your ex and hoping that one day they’ll realize that they made a huge mistake and come running back… begging you to get married. Well, don’t hold your breath. That rarely happens. Just accept the breakup and don’t spend your energy trying to get them back… or hoping they will come to their senses. If you try to get them back, you’ll just look needy, and then they’ll realize that they made the right choice in breaking up with you.

6.      Start online dating.

As an online dating coach in Dayton, I can definitely tell you this a great tip for how to get over being dumped! It not only focuses you on the future, but it also gets you attention from other people. Online dating helps you realize that there are other fish in the sea – not just your ex. There are other people who will value you and want to date you. So, whether you choose online dating or dating apps, it’s a great way to move on and find someone better suited for you.

Being dumped is never fun. It can cause some self-esteem problems and a lot of grief. But it doesn’t last forever! It’s up to you to take back your power, pull yourself back into life, and move on. You can do it. It might take time, but now that you know how to get over being dumped, you will find Mr. or Ms. Right in no time!

 ***If you need online dating coaching, let me help you. Contact me today!***

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