Are You ... or Aren't You? How to Know You're in Love

Ahhhhh… love. They say it’s a many splendored thing. And it is. Or at least it can be. But you might be wondering how to know you’re in love. It should be obvious, right?

Maybe, maybe not.

You see, love is complicated. As an online dating coach in Dayton, I have come up with several stages of what we call “love” from my experiences.

First, you have infatuation. This happens when you are constantly giddy over the thought of the other person. You almost feel like you are on a high, and that you’re walking on Cloud 9. And guess what? You actually are high. Science has proven that the brain of someone who is infatuated looks exactly the same as a person who is on cocaine.

Weird, huh?

But infatuation doesn’t last forever. Eventually, the chemicals in your brain calm down. And reality sets in.

For some people, that’s where the relationship ends – they can’t make it past this stage. But if you’re lucky enough to move through this, then comes what I call the “in love” stage.

I’ve seen a lot of people go through online dating and move into these two stages. And they look very similar. But you still might be asking how to know you’re in love… and not still infatuated (or in lust)?

Well, being in love involves a lot of the feelings of infatuation, but they are deeper.

But let’s take a closer look at some of the other signs so you know how to know you’re in love.

How to Know You’re in Love

1.      You see their flaws, but they don’t bother you.

One of the signs that help you know how you know you’re in love is that you have hung in there long enough to know that your partner isn’t perfect. You see some of their flaws, but they don’t bother you. In fact, you might even find them endearing. When you’re not in love, these flaws would irritate you. But because you love your partner, you find them sweet.

2.      You can’t picture your life without your partner.

When you think about the rest of your life, you can’t imagine it without them. You are so connected that any thought of not having them in your life makes you sad or anxious.

3.      Your partner makes you want to be a better person.

Maybe you hate working out, but you are in love so you want to do it for your partner. You want to look good and be your best for them. You push yourself to grow as a person.

4.      You value your partner’s opinions.

You may not agree on everything, but you truly value what your significant other thinks about everything. Whether it’s their political views or just what they think of the outfit you’re wearing, you genuinely care what they think.

5.      You see yourself as a team.

There is no more “you” and “me.” It’s “us.” You want to consult your loved one about almost everything. Not that you need to, but you want to. You are a team – no longer individuals. Not that you shouldn’t maintain some sort of individuality, but overall, you know you are unit. That’s how to know you’re in love.

6.      They make you a better person – the best version of yourself.

You actually like who you are when you are with them. Not only do you love them, you love yourself more when you are with them. They raise your self-esteem, and you feel like you can take on the world.

7.      You have each other’s back.

You both would do anything for each other. Whether it’s calling for help with a flat tire at 2:00 in the morning, or standing up for them when another person isn’t being fair, you know that you both have each other’s back at all times.

8.      They are the first person you want to call when something happens.

You just got a job offer? They’re the first person you want to call. Your dog just died? You want to call them first again. Whatever happens in your life, they are the first person you want to share it with.

9.      You can talk to them for hours upon hours.

As the saying goes, “time flies when you’re having fun.” When you’re in love, being with your partner and talking to them about anything and everything, is easy. You lose track of time because you are just lost in conversation… and each other.

10.  You accept each other 100%.

No one is perfect. But you both love each other unconditionally. You accept the good parts and the bad parts. There is nothing that could break your love apart.

Whether you met via online dating, dating apps, or the old-fashioned way, it’s not difficult to figure out if you’re in love. And now you know how to know if you’re in love! Because if you experience most of these ten things, then congratulations! You’re in love!

​***If you need online dating coaching, let me help you. Contact me today!***
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