4 Ways to Deal with Rejection
I had dinner with a good friend a few days ago, and we were celebrating rejection. I know that you're probably thinking, "What? Why the heck would they do that? Who in their right mind would celebrate rejection?" And the answer is ... US. We did. We knew it was a weird thing to do. But we still did it.
She and I have similar careers; we both speak, write books/articles, and generally try to inspire and motivate people along the way. She has a Ph.D. and is an overall awesome lady. She is also a great conversationalist, so when we got on the topic of rejection, it got good.
You see, we both have had to deal with plenty of rejection in our lives - both personally and professionally. Hasn't everyone? But the funny thing is that when people get rejected, it makes them feel alone. We all think, "Why am I such a loser? Why doesn't anyone want me or see my greatness?" Let's face it: rejection hurts. No one wants to be rejected. We all want to be liked, loved, and/or adored. But deep down, we all know that it's not possible to make it through life without being rejected - probably many times.
I could sit here and write all sorts of different times I've been rejected: jobs, relationships, someone in my audience, someone in the public, and the list goes on. In fact, two days ago I was the guest on Ralph Smart's webshow called Infinite Waters, Diving Deep. What an awesome man he is! You should check him out.
But I digress.
I had a blast on his show. It fired me up! He has a really big following, so when he posted the show, it got thousands of views right away. And on Youtube, just like on Facebook, they have the "like" button. But they also have a "dislike" button. Ouch. That hurts. And, of course, people can comment. And while most of the comments were great, and I only got 10 or so "dislikes," I still have to wonder, "What didn't they like about me? Was it the big giant zit in the middle of my forehead that day?" (yes, I did have one, and it was pretty mortifying ... and really bad timing! But I just had to suck it up and get over it because there is nothing I could do about it!). Just in case anyone is now curious to see just awful the zit really was, you can check it out on the show here. Oh, and for the record, I was also having a really bad hair day :)
One person who commented on it said I that rambled on too much. And some other people said "Ralph, you are a good listener," which implies that I talked too much (there may be truth to that - I am a professor and keynote speaker, and so it's in my blood to talk, and talk, and talk...and I probably need to watch that for the next show I'm on).
Anyway, my conversation with my friend and being on Ralph's show just really got me thinking more about rejection. So I tried to come up with some words of wisdom for anyone out there reading this who has ever been rejected. #everyone
1. Get over it.
If you can't change it, just ignore it.
2. Find something about yourself that you love.
Focus on that.
3. Reflect on all the people who do love you.
You know people love you. So think about them...not the haters.
4. Remember this quote:
"I failed my way to success." - Thomas Edison
All people who have done great things have failed and been rejected. It comes with the territory. The only difference between them and other people is they just keep going anyway.
Well, there you have it. Trust me, it's not easy to get over rejection. And many times, the rejection we are facing is self-rejection *ahem* ( think ... giant zit on the forehead and bad hair day). That's the worst kind, actually. So be kind to yourself. Not everyone will love you, but most people will. Remember that at all times.
Have a great week - and I hope it's free of rejection!! :)
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