Valentine’s Day. It’s probably one of the most loved – and hated – holidays we have. So as we approach this day of diamond rings, chocolate, marriage proposals, romantic dinners, flowers, and candy hearts, I decided it would be appropriate to write about my assessment of how most people approach this love-filled (or not-so-love-filled) day. And most importantly, the lessons we can learn…
First, let’s talk about the people in a relationship. Some people are giddy. I don’t mean to stereotype, but it’s usually the women - especially young girls (stereotyping again…sorry!). They expect romance, flowers, jewelry, and declarations of undying love. That puts a lot of pressure on their partners - and not just the guys. Valentine’s Day used to stress me out, too. I could never figure out what to get a guy for Valentine’s Day. It’s really more of a gift-giving occasion more suitable to giving women the gifts. Anyway, I do remember getting a college boyfriend a pink paisley tie (yes, am dating myself by making fashion references to the 80s!). But I digress. Sorry. Guys either love it or hate it, too. Regardless, Valentine’s Day puts pressure on people in relationships to give gifts and make it an overall special day for their partner. And if they don’t deliver, then relationship problems may ensue…But if they do, then the day can be blissful!
Then there are the singles. These are usually the people who really don’t like Valentine’s Day. I know so many people who just look at it as a reminder that they still don’t have anyone special in their lives. Some people want to ignore the day. Others decide to go get drunk with their single friends and raise their metaphorical middle finger at love. Hey, whatever floats your boat.
Regardless of whether you have a sweetheart for Valentine’s Day or not, there are 3 lessons that we can all learn from February 14th.
Here they are:
1. Love yourself.
Even though Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about showing your love to other people, use this day as a reminder to love yourself too! Hey, love is love. I’m not talking about conceit. I’m talking about a real, genuine liking for yourself. Are you someone you would want to be friends with? Someone you would want to date or marry? You probably are! You just need to realize that. Repeat after me:
I am lovable.
Because you are! Don’t ever forget it!
2. Make every day Valentine’s Day.
It might sound cliché, but just think about it for a minute. Why do we need a “special day” to remember to love one another and give gifts and be romantic? Shouldn’t we already be doing that every day? In theory, yes! In practice, not so much! So take this Valentine’s Day as a reminder of how precious people are in your life. Promise yourself that you no longer need Valentine’s Day (or Sweetest Day, or anniversaries, or birthdays…you get the point) to show your loved ones how you feel. Do it every day!!
3. Focus on advantages of your relationship status.
Not everyone in a relationship is happy, and not everyone who is single is unhappy. But there are definite advantages to both kinds of relationships statuses! If you’re taken, then focus on all the good things on your partner (again, not just on February 14th, but every day!). Remind yourself about why you love them, not why they might drive you crazy. Whatever you focus on expands. So focus on the good stuff. And if you’re single, think about all the freedom you have! And your single status just opens up possibilities for the right person to walk into your life. But meanwhile, use you time “alone” to explore who you are and become a better person. And for all of you – single or hitched - focus on what you are happy about, not what you aren’t.
So there you have it. My Valentine’s Day lessons. The overall lesson here is to be positive. Focus on the good stuff, and make a promise to yourself and your loved ones that you will spread more love around – every day.
Dr. Carol Morgan &
Check out our website:
Who I Am: