Breakups are never easy – even if you are the one who wanted it in the first place. Whether you are the dumper or the dumpee, it can be difficult to move on with your life, especially if you had been together for a long time.
Some people move on easier than others. And what determines that is a variety of factors. For example, if you have wanted out of the relationship for a long time, then maybe you are mentally and emotionally ready to move on immediately. But if the love of your life dropped a bomb and suddenly broke up with you, then that’s a whole different story.
Let’s divide this advice up into two categories. First, let’s start with how to move on after a relationship if you’re left stunned and heartbroken.
Tips for How to Move on After a Relationship if You’re Heartbroken
As an online dating coach in Dayton, I can tell you that I’ve seen it all. And I prefer to work with people who are truly ready to find love again. Because if you are still heartbroken from your loss, then you are not ready to do online dating – or any dating for that matter. So here are some tips for how to move on after a relationship if you’re heartbroken.
1. Grieve the loss.
This might sound like a no-brainer. Like, OF COURSE you’re going to grieve the loss of your partner, right? Well, that might be true for some people. But others are really good at ignoring and suppressing their emotions. That’s not healthy. Let me repeat – THAT’S NOT HEALTHY. Do NOT ignore your sorrow and grief. Cry. Cry a lot. Cry until you can’t cry any more.
2. Dissect the relationship and figure out what went wrong.
Just because you were blindsided from the breakup, that doesn’t mean you might not have missed some signs that it was failing. Sometimes we are blind to what’s happening in our relationships until it’s too late. So, take an honest look back and see what happened. Was it you? Was it them? What did you do to contribute to the breakup… if anything? Once you figure this out, it will help you make better relationship choices in the future.
Tips for How to Move on After a Relationship if You’re Happy & Healed
Obviously, this is a much better mental and emotional state to be in. But not everyone can get there right away. As an online dating coach, I know that research says the sometimes it takes an average of 2 years to get over a breakup – sometimes longer. So here are some tips if you are ready to move on.
1. Get out there!
And by that, I mean get out there physically and virtually. Join an online dating site or an app. Or both! Just get your face and profile out there so you can start meeting people. If you don’t like the online dating route, then go out with friends so you can meet new people. Or join groups in the community. Or ask your friends to set you up. Just get out there.
2. Write down your “must haves” and your “deal breakers.”
If you have had several failed relationships, then you can turn those into successes. How? By looking back and what you had that you liked and didn’t like in every partner/relationship you’ve ever had. What did you love? What did you hate? What do you NEED in the future. What can you NOT put up with?
3. Enjoy being single for a while.
Just because you’re single now doesn’t mean that you have to jump into another relationship right away. There are a lot of advantages to being single! You don’t have to answer to anyone, and you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. So, take this time to explore yourself and who you really are as a person. Then, when you are ready to find your soul mate you will be refreshed and much more ready to establish a health relationship.
Being single can be scary, but it can be fun too. So, regardless of how your relationship ended, make sure you take care of yourself. Look back at the past and figure out how you’re going to do better in the future. Because a breakup can be viewed a learning experience – if you choose to see it that way!
***If you’re ready to move on after your breakup and need an online dating coach, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’d be happy to help!***
Dr. Carol Morgan &
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