We’ve all been there. We meet some guy and he seems like Prince Charming… at first. But then we get to wondering – is he too good to be true?
Chances are, he just might be.
But sometimes it’s difficult to tell. Even I have had problems deciphering the players from the good men. That’s because players are good at fooling you – at least for a while.
However, they can’t do it forever. Not if you don’t allow it.
As an online dating coach in Dayton, I have see it all. Including a lot of players and people who have been played. So, in my dating coaching, I help my client look out for the signs that they’re getting played.
Let’s take a look at some common behaviors of players when it comes to the dating game.
15 Signs You’re Getting Played
1. His behavior is inconsistent.
Maybe on your first date he told you that he “could stay with you for the next 50 years.” And you might have believed that he meant it. But then, days go by and you don’t hear from him. Ummm…really? He must not be that serious about the next 50 years if he seems really into you one minute, but you wonder about if it’s all an act the next.
2. He never takes you on dates.
In today’s world, the dating game – especially with online dating – has turned into a lot of “hanging out” or “let’s Netflix and chill.” That’s just code for “hey, let’s get together and have sex!” A person who wants a real relationship with you will take you out on actual dates and treat you with respect.
3. He never wants to see you before 9:00 p.m.
This goes hand-in-hand with “hanging out” or “Netflix and chill.” If he’s not taking you out on real dates, then he’s just in it for sex. And let’s face it, if you only hear from him late at night, then you can be sure that all he wants is a booty call. Don’t fall for it.
4. He refuses to define your relationship.
It’s been several months of “hanging out.” But no talk about defining the relationship. No words like “exclusive,” “monogamous,” “commitment” or “boyfriend/girlfriend” has ever come out of his mouth. And if you try to bring it up, he either changes the subject or says something lame like “let’s see where it goes.”
5. He’s not very affectionate.
Unless you’re having sex, he barely touches you. No hand-holding or cuddling on the couch. No arms around you in public. The reason he does that is because he doesn’t see you as his girlfriend. You’re probably even one of many girls in his life.
6. He’s always sexting with you and sends dick pics.
When you’re really attracted to someone, it’s tempting to get excited by some sexting. And even some sexy photos. But if that’s the primary topic of your texting exchanges, then you have a problem. Dick pics do not say “I respect you and want to commit to you.” They say, “let’s have sex.”
7. He shows no interest in introducing you to his family or friends.
You might have been together for quite a while – months or even years. But you still haven’t met his parents, kids (if he has any), or friends. You might make excuses for it, but the real reason is that he doesn’t want to do that because it seems like a commitment. Instead, he wants to keep his options open.
8. He never talks about the future.
You never hear the words “marriage,” “family,” or even “next year.” That’s because he’s not picturing you in his future. He might even have several girls, and if you’re just one of them, then why would he talk about the future with you?
9. He’s protective of his phone.
Every time you get near his phone, he reaches for it in a panicked kind of way. Why would he do this if he didn’t have something to hide? I would gladly hand over my phone to my boyfriend (and vice versa) because neither of us would see anything that we’re doing wrong. So, if someone is freakishly protective of their phone, he’s definitely hiding something from you.
10. He goes MIA.
You undoubtedly don’t hear from him every day. Maybe you do for a small stretch of time, but then he disappears. And you wonder, “Is he gone for good? Did he ghost me?” But then, magically he’ll come back as if nothing ever happened.
11. His words and actions don’t match.
He’ll say that he’s going to take you out this weekend, but then the day rolls around, and you haven’t even heard from him – let alone know if you’re still going out or not. When he’s with you, he’s probably a smooth talker and says how into you he is, but then he doesn’t act like it.
12. He blows hot and cold.
When you’re with him, he is all over you and you think your chemistry and passion are unique. But then, as I said earlier, he goes cold. As you can see with all these signs you’re getting played, there is a pattern of inconsistency with his behaviors.
13. He will love-bomb you.
Love-bombing is when someone compliments you, chases you, and makes you feel like the most beautiful, desirable woman in the world. And you even believe it. But in reality, it’s all bull sh**. He is just playing the game to reel you in with her words. Once he “has” you, then the compliments stop.
14. He is always busy.
It’s difficult to nail him down to make plans with him. He always has excuses for why he can’t plan something or why he has to cancel. It could be his job, his kids, or anything else in his life. But come on… no one is THAT busy. If you were a priority to him, then he’d make time to see you (aside from when he wants to have sex).
15. He never posts anything about you on social media.
Let’s say you went out to a bar one night, and you took some selfies of the two of you. And you put it on social media… and tag him. Well, it never shows up on his page. Why? Because he doesn’t want it to. He doesn’t want to be public about your “relationship” because what if that ruins his chances with other women?
No one likes to get played. But as an online dating coach in Dayton, I know it happens all the time. If you can relate to these signs of getting played, then you need to run as fast as you can.
***If you need online dating coaching, or just some help with your dating and relationship problems, contact me today. I would love to help you!***
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