Dear Dr. Carol,
I met this guy, Don, at work five years ago. When we met, I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend. During those years, we both broke up with our significant others and started dating other people.
But we grew really close really quickly. We have so much in common and have so much fun together. We can talk about pretty much anything under the sun. In fact, I consider him my best friend.
When I first met him, I wasn’t particularly attracted to him. However, that has changed over the years. The better I got to know him, the more attractive he became to me.
Here’s my dilemma. Now, we’re both recently single. And I don’t know if he’s feeling the same way about me or not.
What should I do? If I tell him that I’m falling for him, then our friendship might be over. And even if it’s not over, it could be strained, awkward, and never the same again.
I think I could handle it if he didn’t like me back, but I value our friendship too much to take a chance. But then again, if I don’t tell him, then I might be missing out on the best relationship of my life!
Dr. Carol, I know you’re Dayton’s best dating coach, so I wanted to ask your opinion.
What should I do? Should I tell my best friend that I’m falling for him or not?
I understand your dilemma! I know a lot of people who have been through this.
And you are right – it’s definitely taking a risk if you tell him. But you never know, even if he doesn’t feel the same way, maybe you guys will just go back to normal and it won’t affect your friendship in a negative way.
But I understand that you are worried about loss – either losing him as a friend or just it not being the same anymore.
When I do my dating coaching, I often ask people, “At the end of your life, what would you regret doing more? Doing it or not doing it?” And by “it” I mean whatever dilemma or choice you are trying to make. And in this case, it’s telling your best friend that you’re falling for him.
So, that’s a really important question to consider.
However, you have to have a talk with yourself. If you decide to not tell him, then you have to make sure you’re going to be okay with never knowing what could have been.
In addition, you also have to mentally and emotionally prepare yourself for the worst. If you don’t get the answer you want, then do you think you can live with that? It’s not an easy question to answer, but it needs to be considered.
At the end of the day, no one can make this choice but you. There is always risk involved with love. And many times, it’s worth it!
I’m sure you are a brave lady and can survive the situation either way.
Good luck, and let me know if you need any further assistance!
****If you need dating coaching or online dating coaching, contact me today! I would love to help you find the love of your life.****