You’ve probably done it. I know I’ve done it. And I know countless other people who have done it too.
Yes, sex with the ex.
That sounds pretty harmless, right? I mean, it’s not like you haven’t been together many times before. So, what’s just one more time? Well, not so fast.
It’s a pretty common scenario. I don’t care if you’ve been married 50 years or been together 5 months, a lot of people “go back”… at least temporarily.
Why do people do this?
Well, there are many reasons. But none of them are good.
Bottom line, the real reason people want to have sex with their ex is because of familiarity.
It’s ironic, isn’t it? We broke up for a lot of reasons that were familiar to us. And we had intentions of moving on to someone new. We have the chance to find a better relationship with someone else, but yet so many people get caught up in the trap of having sex with your ex.
I know it’s tempting, but it’s not a good idea.
Why You Should Stop Having Sex With Your Ex
As an online dating coach in Dayton, I know that so many people struggle with having sex with your ex. It’s like there’s some part of them that doesn’t want to move on… and instead, go back.
But I always have to convince them not to do that… for these reasons.
1. You might get emotionally bonded again.
If you were with your ex for a long time and loved them, then the love might re-surface. Even if there has been a lot of time that has passed, you still might bring out that ol’ loving feeling. Sure, love is great. But not when you are trying to move on from someone. It’s like re-opening an old wound. Who wants to do that? It will just confuse you.
2. It prevents you from moving on.
Again, as an online dating coach, I frequently have to counsel people about how holding on to the ex will prevent them from moving forward and finding someone new who they are more compatible with. Even if you think it’s harmless, and you think that you’ll stop having sex with your ex once you meet someone, it’s a mental and emotional block. Just don’t do it.
3. It’ll make you miss him, and you might be tempted to get back together.
Time has a funny way of tricking our minds. The farther we get away from our breakups, the better the relationship looks in hindsight. You slowly forget about all the toxic things that broke you up in the first place. It’ll feel familiar, and you might miss the good times and be tempted to get back together. But you just need to remember all the bad things… not the good.
4. It can lead to an unhealthy pattern.
Maybe you both are just horny and so this is a convenient way to get sex. And maybe you’re both even okay with it. But it’s an unhealthy pattern to repeatedly have sex with your ex. Healthy people have sex with their current partners – not their ex. So, you don’t want this pattern to mess with your mind or your heart.
5. You might be opening yourself up to being used.
Or, maybe you want to get back together with your ex, but all they want is just sex. Well, then you might just end up being used by them. Especially if you don’t openly discuss your expectations ahead of time. You don’t want to only be someone’s sexual outlet.
6. It’s too easy.
Trust me, I know. Many people resist doing online dating or just finding someone new the old-fashioned way. Why? Because it takes effort. That’s part of why I’m an online dating coach. I take all the effort out of it. I do the searching for you and help you weed out the bad apples. Yes, it’s easy to have sex or even go back to your ex, but you have to resist it if you want to move on.
7. It won’t make him fall back in love with you.
Many females think that if they have sex with a guy, then they will be more likely to fall in love with them. But let’s face it – men are different from us. They can have anonymous sex or friends-with-benefits and never get any feelings for the other person. So, don’t think that your ex will fall back in love with you just because you start having sex again.
I know that having sex with your ex is tempting. But you have to resist it. As I’ve said before, as an online dating coach, I’ve seen it all. And the people who go back and have sex with their ex never move on. Or at least it takes them a long time to do so. Is that really what you want for yourself?
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