Being single is a funny thing. Some people embrace it, some people tolerate it, and some people fear it. I am somewhere in between “embracing” and “tolerating.” When I was single, I always said “I prefer to be in a relationship, but only a GOOD relationship. Otherwise, I’d rather be single.”
But I’m not like everyone. Some people hate being single so much that they just settle for anyone and ignore all the red flags they see waving all around someone they’re dating.
Some red flags are obvious. For example, abusive or neglectful behavior of any kind should be considered a deal breaker by anyone (although unfortunately, it’s not). But other red flags can masquerade around as signs that you’ve found your soul mate, when in fact they are nothing more than signs of love bombing.
Just in case you are unfamiliar with what love bombing actually is, here is a definition for you. Basically, it’s when a person you are dating showers you with attention, compliments, and love. Sounds great, right? Well… not so fast.
As an online dating coach in Dayton, I can tell you that I see signs of love bombing all the time in my clients. And I can tell you that it’s not a pretty thing. I am happy that I am there for them to point out the warning signs before they get in too deep with someone.
You see, love bombing feels good. And usually, we think red flags feel bad. And that’s the scary thing about love bombing. You don’t even know it’s being done to you until it’s too late.
And when it comes to online dating, well, it can happen all the time. So, I want to tell you about some very common signs of love bombing so that you can protect yourself from being a victim of this frequent occurrence in the world of dating.
Signs of Love Bombing
Just to let you know – I have been a victim of love bombing myself. Hey, I’m human too! And at first, I loved it. They make you feel special. But it didn’t take too long for me to catch on and realize they were full of sh*t.
Here are some signs of love bombing to look for:
1. They are too quick to say “I love you.”
It’s one thing to really be in love and have both of you say “I love you” after a month of dating. But it’s another thing to say it on the second date. Some people might think it’s romantic and amazing, but really, who can fall in love that quickly? Beware of people who are moving way too fast with expressing their feelings or planning a future with you.
2. They always tell you what you want to hear.
“You are the most beautiful woman in the world!” or “You are my soul mate!” or “I’ve waiting all my life to find you!” are all wonderful things to hear. But NOT when they are bull sh*t. It’s great to hear from a person who actually means it. But in love bombing, there is no sincerity to anything.
3. They feel too good to be true.
You feel like God has finally answered your prayers. This man is PERFECT. He says the right things, does the right things, and has virtually no flaws at all. A dream come true, right? Well, probably not. As the saying goes, if it feels too good to be true, then it probably is. It’s hard to admit that to yourself when you so desperately want to be in love. But no one is perfect. However, a love bomber tries to make you think they are.
4. They do wildly romantic things for you.
Sending two dozen roses to your work? Yep, that’s a sign of love bombing. Taking you to fancy restaurants and planning romantic picnics every weekend? Yep, those too. I’m not saying that everyone who does romantic things are love bombers. But just watch the way they do it. And how often they do it. Then you will see if it’s actually a red flag or not.
5. They make you feel like your love was destined.
Maybe they actually call you their soul mate. Or if not, they just make you feel like soul mates. They tell you that your love was destined. Well, maybe it was, but most likely – with a love bomber – it’s not. Don’t fall into this trap. Keep your guard up a little and don’t let them suck you in with these lovey-dovey words.
As you can see from these signs of love bombing, they give you constant attention. It feels good, but it’s deceptive. And as an online dating coach, I know that – frequently - these kinds of people change quite quickly into abusive partners. So, don’t get yourself caught in the web of love bombing!
***Want some help identifying a love bomber? Remember, I’m an online dating coach who can help you! Email me on the contact form today!***