A couple of weeks ago, I had someone tell me that I was not charging enough for my keynote speeches. My first reaction was confusion plus a little bit of self-depricating humor. I thought, "Why don't you think I'm charging enough? Either I'm a loser speaker at the bottom of the barrel of speakers, or I'm completely out of the loop for the going rate for someone like me to speak at corporate events. Or on the positive side, I'm just really that awesome and I could be the next Oprah." Okay, maybe not Oprah, but maybe her friend Gail. (ha). Anyway, a conversation about it ensued, and then I came the conclusion that she was right. I am not charging enough for my keynotes. But I refused to think that I was a loser speaker or that I was that out of the loop that much. I had to turn to other possibilities.
If I'm undercharging, does that mean that I don't value my message or my work or even myself? I didn't think so. But I had to dig deep and think about it. What were my subconscious thoughts that were blocking me from thinking I that I should charge more? I had a few answers (such as my sisters saying, "You're a doctor? People actually listen to you? Bahahaha!!") Keep in mind, my sisters are only teasing me. They are actually very supportive. But in the back of my head, I am just their little sister. Could that be holding me back? Actually, I have a whole other blog to write on that topic sometime. That will be fun.
Anyway, I regularly speak and write about the subconscious beliefs we all have that are holding us back. But it wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that I had to analyze my own hidden beliefs. Trust me, I've done a lot of self-reflection over the years, but there is always something new to discover about yourself if you just keep on digging!
So that got me thinking about all of you.
Several blogs ago, I wrote about what to do (or think) when other people don't value you. So what if YOU are the one who is not valuing YOURSELF enough? I'm sure plenty of other people value you, but what if you have become your own worst enemy ... your own invisible obstacle?
Don't worry. It's not that hard to change. But you do need to start examining your thought processes. Here are 4 things that may be going through your mind without you even knowing it. And, of course, all of them are holding you back. Do any of them sound like you?
1. "I'm just helping people. I don't need money for it."
Helping people is great. We should all be helping people. But at what point does that turn from helping them to getting used by them? Accepting money for a service is called an energy exchange. If you do nice things for a friend and you never get thanked (or maybe they never do anything nice in return for you), well, you're kind of getting used. The same thing applies to getting paid for services. Money is an energy exchange - a symbolic "thank you." And it's a vitally important one too. Without it, you have the potential of being used.
2. "I feel bad taking money from people."
Do you feel bad collecting your paycheck? No. Do you think that McDonald's feels bad for accepting money for your Quarter Pounder with Cheese? No. Do you think that a movie star has a problem accepting money from their blockbuster? No. Of course not! It all sounds kind of silly when you re-frame it like that, doesn't it? So why would you ever feel bad for accepting money from people? As I said in #1, it's simply an energy exchange. Think of it as doing the person a favor by allowing them to be a giver.
3. "They can't afford it, so I'll take whatever they can give me."
If they can't afford you, then maybe they should find someone else. And I don't mean that in a condescending way. But there is always someone who will do the job cheaper than you ... at least there should be. You see, if you are the one at the bottom of the barrel who is accepting everyone's sloppy seconds, then you don't value yourself enough. You should be passing your sloppy seconds on to other people.
4. "I'm humble. I'm just lil' ol' me."
Ahhhhh....being humble is a great characteristic, isn't it? Well, not when it comes to money!! Being humble undervalues yourself. Now I'm not telling you to become conceited and stuck up. In fact, I'm telling you quite the opposite. But just know that being proud of yourself and your accomplishments is not conceit. We are all valuable and accomplished in our own ways. Have someone read your resume out loud to you. Trust me, it will give you a whole new perspective, and you'll finally realize how awesome you are.
Yes, I had all these 4 thoughts going through my mind at one time or another in my life. I knew they affected me in the past, but I think I wasn't quite aware that they were still affecting me until it was pointed out to me that I need to charge more for my keynotes. Keep in mind that growth is a process. It doesn't happen overnight. So if you keep discovering things you need to change about yourself in order to be happier and more successful, then good for you! That means that you are not stagnant. You are moving forward and getting better every day.
If you heard your own voice in these 4 statements above, I challenge you to re-program your subconscious and get rid of these self-defeating ideas. They are hogwash! They are only true if you think they are true. Otherwise, they are just unproductive lies you are telling yourself and they are holding you back.
Cheers! To your success!! :)
Dr. Carol Morgan &
Check out our website:
Who I Am: